Calling You In, Not Out.




As I’ve sat back in order to reflect and do some of the much, and always needed, self-work, I’ve been observing and trying to learn as much as possible from everyone around me. And I mean everyone.


There’s one finding I want to explore with you…


In these moments of turmoil, uncertainty, heartbreak, and, quite frankly, terrifying chaos I’m surprised how little some people are actually willing to engage in meaningful, high quality, and fundamentally constructive conversations.


No, Not Everyone.


I know of and am a part of many illuminating conversations (I’m mostly listening and asking questions to deepen my own understanding) with a variety of incredible people, and I thank you. I am learning so much in these times and I am eternally grateful.


But I also want to be learning from those who are not engaging in actual dialogue yet seem to have something to say. I understand that some of you may not be ready, and I respect that. I understand that some of you may not have the words yet, and I respect that.


This is to the ones who seem to have the words by what you are posting on social media yet fail to have the depth or substance to support your claims. So please, help me understand.

If you put a post up that is inflammatory, polarizing, hateful, or hurtful with no personal context whatsoever, I am Not going to call you out. I’m Not going to lose my shit on you, belittle or berate you.


But I am going to call you in.


I am going to ask you about it. I’m going to lovingly call you into a discussion because I want to know. I want to know why you view the world in that way and believe what you do; is this a passed down belief, is it from personal experience, are you scared, are you confused, angry, sad, are there parts of you that are being activated or triggered by what you’re seeing and hearing and feel that this helps soothe that pain?


When you instantly come back with, “I’m not going to argue about this”, what I hear is, “I haven’t sat with this on my own for long enough yet to know how I truly and fundamentally feel about it for myself so I’m not ready to engage in a conversation”.


And that’s okay.


Take your time, these are unprecedented waters we’re navigating and it is hard. I don’t think anyone right now has the answer, but let’s try and collectively figure it out together and come up with a solution that calls for equality, inclusivity, and a healthier, brighter future for humanity and our Home Planet.


This is our chance, y’all. This is it. We are being called in to reflect on dark realities and stark truths. And you don’t have to go it alone, I am here. I am yearning for a conversation. I want to understand you and all the reasons why you think and feel the way that you do. I don’t even have to talk, I would honestly much prefer to listen to understand you and where you are coming from.


With that said, there’s another side of this coin. As a collective, there’s some work that needs to be done around creating safe spaces for people to make mistakes, to get messy, to question things, to be unsure, to be vulnerable, to be real.


To simply be.


Without fear of being attacked. Because when someone gets angry and aggressive about another’s opinion, it shuts everyone down. It sucks the air out of the room and nothing can live without oxygen. We need to breathe life back into our dialogues. This is a time to gather, to commune, to unite, and to rise.


Can we all make a promise that we will try our best to do better? That we will listen to understand and lovingly call others into conversation and ideation? That we will trust it’s okay to have differing opinions but at the core, we are all one and we are all simply wanting to be heard, to be seen, to be loved? You really don’t have to promise anything. However, this is my promise to you.


Commune with me.


Help me understand your ways and hold space for mine.


Be well & Communicate Deep, Amanda

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© 2019 The Self-Agency Academy     |      amanda@theselfagencyacademy.com