There are people in your life that make it impossible to imagine existence without them. They’re the ones that support you no matter how wild, crazy or unrealistic your ideas may seem. They stand beside you when things get really shitty without batting an eye. They’re the ones you just look at with a smile on your face and wonder how you got so lucky to them around.
But have you told them this?
I don’t just mean telling them they're nice or funny, it’s not about telling them that they’re a good friend and you’re happy they're around, you can go deeper than that; it’s about bringing out those hidden gems within that maybe they didn’t even realize they had or are too shy to acknowledge. Tell them the things that seem too mushy or weird to say out loud.
We tend to shelter our feelings for fear of being vulnerable or not having these feelings returned to the extent that we feel them. We’re scared that if we open up and tell them just how excruciatingly much we need and love them, that we give away the power, we give them the upper hand. I’m slowly learning that I passionately disagree with this. I think it gives us even more power. It gives us the power of knowing that we are living our lives to the fullest extent and we are loving ourselves and others wholeheartedly. It also gives us the power of knowing that we have made a difference in that person’s life, however big or small.
This past weekend I spent a lot of time with a woman I so genuinely love and value. Her strength, wisdom, compassion, integrity, humour and sense of self-love are qualities I have always admired and strived for. So I told her. I looked her in the eye and told her every last thing that I so deeply honour about her. She replied with humility but also by saying how empowering it was to be able to have these open and honest conversations. This changed the way I look at friendship on a fundamental level. If by me telling her how kick-ass of a woman she is empowers her to continue to treat others with the same love and inspiration, than how could I not continue to tell everyone I care about how incredibly amazing they are?
Take a moment and think of a time when someone opened up to you and told you just how much they adore you, whether it was a friend, family member or lover, doesn’t matter because the impact was more or less the same. Now think of what an impact you could have on society as a whole if you were to share how you truly and honestly feel about people every single day. I think that by telling your friend that you admire his strength and how his sense of integrity inspires you you would create a ripple effect unlike anything else. You now open the potential for them to feel empowered enough to continue to treat others with this same capacity of love and respect because they know the difference it made to you, and so one.
By keeping the impact someone has on us a secret locked within, you rob the world of their magic and their potential to create change. When we hear that we’ve been someone’s rock through a hard time or we motivated them to make a change that wasn’t easy just because we showed them unconditional love, it makes us that much more likely to fully show up for someone the next time. The ripples just keep going and touching more and more lives.
We all know our world needs a hell of a lot more love and kindness these days; instead of dwelling on the hurtful and unpleasant things, let’s take a moment and celebrate the beauty in one another and build each other up to the point of making the small shifts and changes we so desperately need.
Be well & Share the Love, Amanda